Though She Be But Little, She is Fierce

Wednesday, March 16, 2016


I am short. I am tiny and short and quiet and awkward and introverted. And people like to point that out. A lot. It seems like the past couple months that's all I ever hear from everyone. Especially ever since I started college last fall and have been trying to get more involved at my church and find jobs and work on meeting new people. At first it was easy to laugh about, like duh, I know I'm quiet I've been like that my whole life. Oh and hey, no offense but I've kinda been taught to love myself and who I am and not to try and change my personality? "You're so quiet!" "Are you always this shy?" "Stop being awkward and talk to people" "Do you label yourself as shy?" et cetera et cetera. Of course no one says these things to intentionally hurt or insult people. But it's just kind of some of those things the world needs to learn not to say...
I am writing this blog post because this is something that really has been affecting me these past couple of months. And to be honest it's really made me doubt myself and my personality. Is this why it's so hard for me to make friends? Is everyone constantly judging me because I'm so awkward? Am I not being Godly enough because I'm too quiet?
I've heard that God doesn't want us to be introverted. He really just wants extroverts so we can go out and spread his love et cetera. And honestly I just think that's ridiculous to believe. Not to be old fashioned or anything but I believe God created each personality individually for a r e a s o n. News flash: not every Christian needs to be the screaming-off-of-buildings-about-God's-love kind of Christian.
It's okay that I'm not telling the whole room that I pooped last night at 10:33pm or telling someone my entire life story the second I meet them. I love vulnerability and openness and those things are so important and I am flattered when people can talk to me like they've known me their entire lives. And to be honest deep down that's the kind of person I've always wanted to be. But it's exhausting wanting to be someone you're not. God made me an introvert. And He didn't make me that way so I could struggle my whole life trying to be an extrovert like everyone else around me. Amidst everyone's words that aren't meant to be, but sound like insults, I've learned to listen to my own voice and accept that I am the way that I am for a reason and a purpose. I'm quiet and shy and probably really awkward around you until I really get to know you. I've accepted that I can tell people about God and share His love and make friends and connect with people and go about life in a way that's comfortable for me. It doesn't make me less of a person or less of a Christian.
Everyone is wanting me to stop being so quiet, so here I am being loud. These words are important. And I hope another quiet gal reading this right now feels peace in her heart with how God created her.

--but let your adorning to be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 1 Peter 3:4

2 comments

  1. I'm the opposite. I'm loud, I never shut up, and I don't know how to watch my mouth. I will talk to anyone who wants to talk, no problem. I have no issue sharing something personal—nothing in my life is too personal. I'm an open book. I'm outspoken and sarcastic and sassy and I love who and how I am. I love who and how you are, so I hope you can love you too.

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