When "I'm Not Good Enough" Comes Knocking

Monday, March 27, 2017

I'm Not Good Enough shows up at your doorstep. Loud, obnoxious, uninvited. But you let him in. You sit at your dining room table while he serves lies on a silver platter and you devour them as if you haven't eaten in days. He'll even spoon feed them to you if you ask. For some reason the lies are so easy to get down.

That's what things have felt like quite often for me, and maybe for you too. A swarm of I'm not cut out for this. I'm not qualified for this. I'm not good enough for this in your head.

As a creative, an artist, my dreams for my life have always been out of the ordinary. So far away from the 9-5, college degree type of life. If you know me, you know that. But it's hard to have dreams that don't fit into society's mold. Really hard. It's also really awesome that it's 2017 and we are slowly but surely paving the way to jobs that are outside of that little template that the world so desperately wants us to follow.

I'm almost 20 and I'm still not exactly sure what my future looks like in terms of a career. What I do know is what I enjoy and what I'm good at. I keep those things active and alive by creating and sharing things on my blog, which I LOVE to do! But it's hard to be on any type of online platform without comparison showing up and leading to not feeling good enough. Good enough to do what you thought you were good at. Good enough to pursue your dream. Good enough to share your art or your words with the world. Comparison brings all that. At least for me it does.

Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you by prophecy when the council of leaders laid their hands on you. Practice these things, immerse yourself in them. 1 Timothy 4:14-15

Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith. Romans 12:6

So basically God's over there like YO you're not gonna have the same gifts as the next person so stop comparing. I gave you your talents.

I recently finished The Magnolia Story by Chip and Joanna Gaines and truly the entire book brought me to tears because God's hand is so present in their lives and the way their dreams and talents came together is so amazing. At one point, Joanna had no idea what she was going to do with her life- and she was even older than me! She was happy just working at her dad's auto-shop. Then she met Chip and everything started falling into place. Because what Joanna ended up doing is so similar to my interests and dreams, I took it as a sign that God can do the same thing for me too.

God put these dreams and interests and talents in me for a reason and they all play into my calling and my destiny. He did the same for you. I'm done doubting my talent because I don't doubt God. I'm Not Good Enough is Satan in one of his sickening disguises. Let's stop letting him having a say over whether we are good at what God gave us. If it's from God it is good and it's good enough. Your talent is good enough. Your work is good enough. Your art is good enough. You are good enough.

There's a way to be humble while still trusting your talent.

God gave me and you our dreams for a reason and He has a plan for them greater than we can imagine. I'm ready for it. Bring. It. On. I am going to start speaking my dreams out loud daily to God. I am going to begin praying over my life and the plan He has for me instead of just sitting still. I am not going to doubt my dreams or my talents because that's doubting God. I'm shutting the door on doubt and opening the door to my destiny.

I invite you to do the same with me.

Lord, use my hands for your glory. 

So disconnect your doorbell, hang a no solicitors sign on your door, and the next time I'm Not Good Enough comes knocking—don't let him in.

Spring Playlist

Monday, March 20, 2017

Hello friends! I put together a quick little spring playlist for you! When I think of spring, I think of hope, soft sounds, the feeling when you finally open your windows for the first time after a long winter, rainy days and sunny days that both feel equally good to your bones, hands finally digging into the earth, planting seeds with confidence that the warmer weather will bring blooms, evening walks in the golden sun that hits the flowering trees just right. All these songs give me those feelings. I hope they do the same for you. ✨

When Inspiration Stands Still

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

"We all have slow days, off days, days we feel tired or uninspired, but they are nothing to concern yourself with. Like the ocean, the stillness is just another of our natural states.
Soon, the winds will pick up, the waves will rise, and your imagination will flow freely again.
- Beau Taplin

March is such an odd month for me. Most of winter is behind us yet spring still takes forever to show up. It's the month that feels the longest, full of teeter-tottering hope and gloom, warm days and cold days. I know I made a blog post awhile back about winter blues, but this one is focused more towards the creatives out there. Those who are "created to create" and feel completely lost when they are not doing so. I've been having a hard time staying inspired, and when I am, I have a hard time carrying it out. Here are a few things to consider when you're in a creative rut:

Is social media inspiring me or leading me to comparison? 
Pinterest, tumblr, instagram, etc are definitely means of inspiration, but it's important to pay attention to when it's just flat-out frustrating. There are times where I go to pinterest to get some ideas or vibes to inspire my next project and I close the app feeling great and refreshed, but there are also times where I'm scrolling through and all I feel is less than everyone else, wondering why I don't have that house or why I didn't think of that idea first, or why my blog isn't as creative as that blog. Comparison. It's important for me to make note of this as soon as it happens so I can turn it off and give it a rest for a few days. Comparison and discouragement like that can debilitate me for days at a time and is never beneficial to my creativity. Social media can be an amazing tool but also a dangerous trap. Paying close attention to how it's going to affect me when I use it helps me a lot. Sometimes you just need to let ideas come naturally, without the help of pinterest or tumblr, and that's okay!

Don't force it
Sometimes I have days where I'm not in the mood to create at all but for some reason I still feel like I should be. I feel like I should be working on my blog, taking photos, doing a craft, rearranging my room, etc. It's not really because I feel like I need to impress anyone or show off, but I suppose it's just part of my creative nature. Sometimes all I want to do is do my homework like a normal person and settle down with a book or netflix and not feel guilty that I didn't do anything creative that day. I guess that might sound ridiculous to some people, but there's gotta be someone that gets what I'm saying? My point is, I'm realizing that when I force it when I'm not feeling it, I end up with a product that I don't like and I'm not proud of. Like Beau Taplin said in the quote at the beginning of this post, stillness is a part of us and it is inevitable. I'm learning to let myself just be still. Instead of creating MORE simply because I feel like I have to, I am starting to create LESS of better quality.

Coloring books
I know this may sound weird, but coloring books are actually a huge help to me! Like I said above, I sort of have a nature of needing to create something. But I know there are days where I'm not gonna like what I make, so I turn to coloring books. It's something artsy to do, but you can't really mess up a coloring book. It's also super relaxing and stress relieving!

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "adapt the pace of nature; her secret is patience." Nature is beautiful. Nature is slow. It takes time and energy to create beautiful things and we need to give ourselves more credit for that than we do. I'm learning that if I'm uninspired that's okay and it gives me time to turn my energy elsewhere. It's okay to have still days and that doesn't set me back in my creativity. If anything, it's revitalizing. I'm slowly but surely accepting this.

If you're "created to create" but sometimes feel like you just need a break...me too. And that's okay. What are some ways you deal with feeling uninspired? I'd love to hear from you!

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